Baby Steps

So here I am trying to jump start an engine that hasn’t been turned over in a while.  I used to write a ton, but with life, kids, priorities, (you name it, I have probably used it as an excuse), etc., writing fizzled out.
My writing fizzled and I feel a little fizzled, too.
I am discovering that when I was a young Christian, I quickly created a facade to match what I believed – it was fast, efficient, and created evidence of change.  As I got older, I have been able to see how immature the inside of me was because the inside has slowly crept up to meet that shallow change that was really nothing but evidence of a change that was hoped for.  I see that in many facets of my life, but especially with relationships.  Relationships and love were outwardly selfless but inwardly they couldn’t have been more selfish.  It has been an interesting learning/growing experience to see just how off the mark I had been – not that I have it figured out now, but I know I have to try.
So that is it – early on, I mastered a facade that looked great.  As time marched on, the inside has grown and the facade had cracked and faded in bits.  So this journey – written and lived – is me.  I hope in all of it, the me that manifests itself isn’t me at all; not a facade, not a picture of who I want people to see me as.  Rather I hope the me becomes a reflection of Christ because the reality is that the ‘me’, no matter how I look at it, is broken and will always be.
Over the next days, weeks, months, years (as long as I am around and my attention span can handle it), I hope to post things on this blog.  Musings about life, new and old poetry, prose, songs, photos, and art.
If you have anything to add – comments, suggestions, complaints – feel free to jump in there and post.  The goal isn’t perfection for me, but reflection for Him.  We can do this together.
- thomas h


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